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It Came from The FuMP!

by Beth Kinderman & the Player Characters

supported by
Debora VanHeyningen
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vincentursus
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Jacob Haller
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melmoth88
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/
1.
Munchkins 03:07
lyrics
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I never learned to cast that Stone to Flesh I cut my teeth on Minor Rings of Protection And I'm not proud of all my stats On a torn-up sheet, first-level fighter But every game's like gold piece, full plate, Brazier of Commanding +5 halberd, Tome of Understanding We don't care, we're wielding vorpal swords in our dreams But every gamer's like backstab, rage, true resurrection, time stop Half-troll monk just beating all the orcs up Dungeon crawl, we aren't caught up in your Monty Haul And we'll never be munchkins (munchkins) It's the story we want Fight after fight, too much the same We crave a different kind of game Let me have some roleplay (roleplay) That's my kind of D&D Then maybe I'll roll, I'll roll, I'll roll, I'll roll Let me live that fantasy My friends and I - we've cracked the code We tell our stories and the loot is a bonus And everyone who knows us knows that we're fine with this We didn't come to level But every game's like chainsaws, trenchcoats, silver bullets, werebears Rotes that turn vampires into lawn chairs We don't care, we're casting Forces 5 in our dreams But every gamer's like 6th gen Ventrue learning Thaumaturgy Ghoul the mayor, Dominate the clergy Thanks, we'll pass, we aren't caught up in your hack and slash And we'll never be munchkins (munchkins) It don't run in our blood Cause powergaming is for n00bs So save it for the intertubes Let me have some roleplay (roleplay) A little less diablerie Then maybe I'll roll, I'll roll, I'll roll, I'll roll Let me live that fantasy Ooh ooh oh Ooh ooh oh Go on and tell me that it's lame But I'm in love with story games Ooh ooh oh Ooh ooh oh It's the drama of it all We aren't caught up in your Monty Haul And we'll never be munchkins (munchkins) It's the story we want Fight after fight, too much the same We crave a different kind of game Let me have some roleplay (roleplay) That's my kind of D&D Then maybe I'll roll, I'll roll, I'll roll, I'll roll Let me live that fantasy
2.
#ThanksThanos 02:30
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The traffic wasn't bad today on my commute to work I didn't have to see my boss or face the office jerk The lines are short and parking's easy at the grocery store Cause half the world got turned to dust in Infinity War #ThanksThanos No one judged my White Castle meal or my second dessert I get the bed all to myself now that my spouse is dirt I never have to wait my turn at any time of day And I couldn't afford the college funds for two kids anyway #ThanksThanos There's no more global warming now that we're 50% ash There's more leg room on planes (at least, the ones that didn't crash) If you think I shouldn't tell these jokes, your wish won't be fulfilled Cause I'm afraid you're stuck with me since half the FuMP got killed But still I heard a rumor that this cannot be the end The sequel's gonna make it like this plot line's never been So I have only one request for all future retcons: Will whoever wields the gauntlet next make Donald Trump stay gone? #PleaseThanos #ThanksThanos
3.
Baby Yoda 03:36
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Took a job. To get a bounty. There he is. In a box. He's just. A little green guy. Why not. Take him home? Cute. Cute. Little green guy. Little claws and. Little ears. Now he's. Comin' to me. Close his eyes. And use the Force. (chorus) Baby Yoda, please let me hold him I want to buy him in plush toy form Disney, Disney, give us a plaything We want to buy him in plush toy form See him eat. That weird frog thing. See him drink. All the tea. More cute. Than an Ewok. Don't you think he ought to. Come with me? I would buy one but. I got no money. Wanna hug him. Every day. Don't cha' love. Your Baby Yoda. Gonna shoplift one. This is the way. (chorus) Here we go (use the Force) Disney, Disney (use the Force) In the Razor Crest, woo (use the Force) Baby Yoda goes, mmmmm (use the Force) I know you want to buy one BB-8. Baby Groot. Never were. Half as cute. Cute. Cute. Why not? Get that plush. Give it hugs. (chorus) Here we go (use the Force) Baby Yoda, woo, put that Disney+ on Baby Yoda goes, mmmmm (use the Force) Hey, Baby Yoda! (use the Force) Yeah, he looks so odd (use the Force) In his floating grey pod (use the Force)

about

A collection of comedy music singles previously made available through The Funny Music Project (www.thefump.com) but not included on any of my other albums. Further tracks will be added as we make them!

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released July 2, 2020

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Beth Kinderman & the Player Characters Minneapolis, Minnesota

If you like epic song cycles based upon multi-thousand-page fantasy novels, thought-provoking lyrics, violin solos, complex vocal harmonies, huge drums, and weird guitar effects, but you also think that more musicians should write songs about surviving the zombie apocalypse and attempting to sleep with video game characters, Beth Kinderman & the Player Characters are the band for you. ... more

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