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lyrics

& I woke up to the darkness & I woke up to my own sin
looked it in the eye, pretended not to care
what happened to that brilliant boy who played beside the river
& laughed in the face of despair?
he's gone, I felt his fingers crumble in my grip
he's gone, swallowed by the gate
but all those prying eyes can see I'll give him all that's left of me
just tell me, what do I owe the universe now, what do I have to pay?

(chorus)
cause I've been losing all my feeling
& this burden is not mine alone
cause he still searches here beside me
his body hollow as my mind is cold
these years have weighed upon me
sweet as treason & as heavy as stone
but with my blood I've named him needed
give me the chance to turn this into gold

so we searched the secret places & we searched our souls for miles
looking for something no one should ever find
so hard to keep on reaching when there seems no hope of touching
but his pain is still greater than mine
I know we should have just accepted what we'd lost
I know it's not equal to the price
but every single wound is proof of hidden truth behind all truth
just tell me, what can I change to make this right now, what can I sacrifice?

(chorus)

this whole world slides by around me, frozen sun & molten shore
I've sunk so far already, so tell me, what's one step more?
I'm not too small to draw this line & make the final trade
they say his life is priceless, well I know he's already paid
cause this is our sin, this is our sin, how I love it when it laughs
I turned my back, it held on, how I've missed you, o my sin
but either way I know that this mistake will be my last
cause this is my sin, this is my sin, o god, where do I begin?

(chorus)

bone & memory will bind them & what we wanted is inside him
but the question is, what difference does it make?
cause this desert's full of sand & I can't clean the stain from my hands
so will he rise where I could only hesitate?
circle once more & I'll see him through the gate

credits

from Apocalypse Blues, released July 3, 2009
Andy Anda: fiddle
Justin Hartley: drums
Beth Kinderman: vocals, acoustic guitar, classical guitar
Dave Stagner: acoustic guitar, electric guitar, resonator guitar, bass
Nikki Walker: vocals
Also featuring the Twelve Colonies Memorial Women's Choir: Beth Kinderman, Tami Murck, Sarah Ravely, Kelly Reich, Nikki Walker

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Beth Kinderman & the Player Characters Minneapolis, Minnesota

If you like epic song cycles based upon multi-thousand-page fantasy novels, thought-provoking lyrics, violin solos, complex vocal harmonies, huge drums, and weird guitar effects, but you also think that more musicians should write songs about surviving the zombie apocalypse and attempting to sleep with video game characters, Beth Kinderman & the Player Characters are the band for you. ... more

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