More Songs About Robots & Death

by Beth Kinderman & the Player Characters

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Four covers of great songs by David Bowie, Peter Schilling, Led Zeppelin, and Talking Heads meet four original tracks showcasing the PCs' more comedic material.


released July 3, 2010

Justin Hartley: drums, percussion, accordion
Beth Kinderman: vocals, acoustic guitar, bass
Dave Stagner: electric guitar, acoustic guitar, mandolin, bass, synths, snark, wtf
Nikki Walker: vocals
Also featuring Keith Spears on piano & synths on "Mary Sue."

Produced, engineered, mixed, & mastered by Dave Stagner at Extraterrestrial Highway Studios, Minneapolis MN.
Cover art by Justin Hartley



Some rights reserved. Please refer to individual track pages for license info.


Beth Kinderman & the Player Characters Minneapolis, Minnesota

If you like epic song cycles based upon multi-thousand-page fantasy novels, thought-provoking lyrics, violin solos, complex vocal harmonies, huge drums, and weird guitar effects, but you also think that more musicians should write songs about surviving the zombie apocalypse and attempting to sleep with video game characters, Beth Kinderman & the Player Characters are the band for you. ... more

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Track Name: Yield
darling I've no doubt
that you are still worth fighting for
in these quiet little spaces
in the calm before the war
& I know you never had the chance
to come this way before
but our time is running out
& I can't take it anymore

cause you can praise me for my beauty
you can say my strength will last
we can talk about your family
we can talk about your past
but you've stepped up to the edge now
where the space between is vast
yeah, that first step is a killer
so you'd better take it fast

you say you love me, baby
but you won't put down your shield
the weapons that you wield
drop your armor & just yield
you say you love me, baby
won't you show me what you mean
show me what you mean
show me what you mean

so don't you act like what I'm asking
is so sudden & extreme
when I can read what's on your lips
& I can guess who's in your dreams
& my prudence & my patience
keep on fraying at the seams
wonder what it's gonna take
for you to finally make me scream


& you want it to be magic
& you want it to be right
you don't wanna take your clothes off
you don't wanna spend the night
& you want it to be special
& you wanna take it slow
but this waiting isn't taking me
to where I want to go
waiting for the perfect setting
waiting for the perfect place
I just wanna touch your body
I just wanna kiss your face
& the waiting has me wavering
while you make up your mind
waiting for the perfect moment
this would be the perfect time

(chorus 4x, overlaid with bridge 1x)
Track Name: Mary Sue
on our first night back at Hogwarts
we all sat around the table
with a summer's worth of stories to compare
when my best friend came up to me
& his eyes they looked right through me
his face shining as he watched the tower stairs
& he asked me, "have you met her?
she just came here from America
& now she's the talk of all of Gryffindor"
I just laughed & called him crazy
cause it's hard to captivate me
she descended & my jaw it hit the floor

her hair is like a waterfall
of gold flowing & dancing
her skin is ivory, her nerves are steel
her eyes violet as the flower
but I've seen them change their color
with the feelings that she tries not to reveal
cause I know she's got a secret
that she's keeping from the rest of us
& her beauty is a curse or so they say
& with everything she's learning
she's got no clue of my yearning
or the joy I'd bring if she'd just look my way

oh you are still too much for such a simple man to grasp
you're a vision from a world so far apart
but I'll be right here waiting while you're out there moving mountains
I'll be dreaming you would let me win your heart
I'm just an average fella with an average story line
but my love is pure & passionate & true
& in all that you must face I would be standing by your side
if you'd put your hand in my hand, Mary Sue

well she speaks a dozen languages
& she sings just like an angel
she's the best at any task she undertakes
she fights as strong as any man
with swords or guns or hand-to-hand
dear Mary Sue just doesn't make mistakes
all the greatest names of our age
gather round, protect & cherish her
& she knows she has her pick of the elite
& I've got no wealth or power
that could tempt her from her tower
how can anyone like me hope to compete?


& they say our Mary Sue's
got a fate that is so dark now
& its burden weighs so heavy on her mind
& she'll face it with such courage
oh but will she ever spare a thought
for the bitter tears of those she leaves behind

Mary Sue is moving on now
to a bigger, better new world
that will challenge her, or so I would surmise
well it caused such a commotion
when she got her field promotion
became captain of the starship Enterprise
Captain Mary Sue's in orbit
of a planet so mysterious
her away team needs another volunteer
so I'm putting on my red shirt
& I'll bandage up my heart's hurt
maybe finally she'll notice that I'm here.

Track Name: Drinking Song
each night when I get home from work so tired I can't see
I grab my food & drink & then I turn on the TV
I'm looking for distraction so I won't stress anymore
but half the time I just end up more pissed off than before
you see, I'm kind of lazy & my standards are quite low
so it doesn't take a lot for me to sit down & watch a show
but too many annoyances have finally done me wrong
so I opened up another beer & sat down to write this song

so raise a glass to the screen now before you stop to think
cause the TV shows I love the most are driving me to drink
so spend another night with me in nerdy decadence
cause we know that when we're sober this will make a lot less sense

[Then I sing a few of the following verses with a chorus after each:]

like what is up with Heroes? cause back in season one
it all seemed kind of random but it still seemed pretty fun
now there's a brand new character most every single show
when all I really want to see is Ando & Hiro
& I really can't help feeling like the cast is an excuse
to set up Peter with some brand new powers he can use
now no one else gets screen time & the metaplot's a wreck
quick, have him take his shirt off so the fangirls won't suspect!

Lost has lived up to its name, I'll tell you that's the truth
cause every single week I get a little more confused
I don't care about Kate's angst or Sawyer's kid or Jack's tattoo
& why have the survivors actually all met before?
like (insert long rant here)
who knows what it all means, because the flashbacks are a bore
& every answered question seems to spawn a thousand more

Dollhouse was supposed to have been canceled far too soon
but then it got renewed & Joss had no clue what to do
so he hired a bunch of actors who we liked from better shows
& put Eliza Dushku in some really skimpy clothes
& you've really gotta wonder who would want to hire a doll
when on every job they just flip out & then kick you in the balls
complain & they will wipe your brain & stick you in a box
why, such a crappy business plan could only come from FOX!

Battlestar Galactica would not be on this list
but recently its twisty plot has got me kind of pissed
cause half the cast are Cylons, Starbuck came back from the dead
& "All Along The Watchtower" is messing with my head
cause every time I hear that elusive music play
I image some Centurions rolling up a J
so I think I'll go to Vegas, place a bet & make a killin'
when it turns out the twelfth Cylon is none other than Bob Dylan

Battlestar Galactica would not be on this list
but I saw the way it ended & it got me sort of pissed
cause Starbuck was an angel & Head Six controlled it all
so humans could go live in caves & frak Neanderthals
so now we must be careful with the robots we have made
so "All Along The Watchtower" won't be so overplayed
yeah, the writers were partaking of the same beer I am swilling
so why should I be surprised that God is actually Bob Dylan?


now May sweeps have ended, the cliffhangers are hung
& for the next four months the shows I love to hate are done
my TV screen is dark, reruns are a waste of time
so what the hell do I do now, go out & get a life?
instead I think I'll read all the fanfic I can get
& argue with some giant jerks upon the Internet
however much it angers me, this time the networks win
I sure wish fall would come so I could watch TV again

(chorus 2x)
Track Name: Zombies
the sun goes down & the streetlights come on
but the streets are empty, all the people are gone
that's all it takes to know that something is wrong
& then you hear them dragging their corpses along

the zombies come out & they're calling my name
they want me to join them, wanna eat my brains
but I'm not gonna listen to a word they've said
til my dying breath I'm gonna fight the dead

now all the people are running scared
but I stand my ground because I am prepared
a can of Pepsi, gasoline & a light
shotgun in one hand, baseball bat in the right


so if I go down, I will put up a fight
no matter what they will remember this night
& later on if you're under attack
just kill me if you see me, I don't wanna come back

(chorus 2x)