Stop Covering "Hallelujah"

by Beth Kinderman & the Player Characters

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1.
I heard there was a Cohen tune That everybody loved to croon But you don't really know the context, do you? It goes like this: the fourth, the fifth The minor fall, the major lift The singer who would dearly love to screw you Love to screw you... Observe the verse, by way of proof About the haircut, bath, and roof And getting tied to chairs, I'll point out smugly And yes, it's quite the work of art Name-dropping it makes you sound smart But in the end, the subject's bumping uglies Bumping uglies... I know it's still the easy choice If you're competing on The Voice To get those votes from all across the nation But don't perform it in a church Or carol it, lest you besmirch Your Christmas with a song of copulation Copulation, fornication... Your TV drama's at a loss For how to bring some gravitas To the season finale you'll leave hanging So pick the saddest song you've heard Hope no one Googles all the words And learns that it's about a lot of banging Lots of banging... I did my best, it wasn't much For naughty bits about to touch In cover versions cursed with endless sucking But even though it all went wrong I'll know each time I sing this song That "Hallelujah"'s mostly about...
2.
I heard there was a Cohen tune That everybody loved to croon But you don't really know the context, do you? It goes like this: the fourth, the fifth The minor fall, the major lift The singer who would dearly love to screw you Love to screw you... Observe the verse, by way of proof About the haircut, bath, and roof And getting tied to chairs, I'll point out smugly And yes, it's quite the work of art Name-dropping it makes you sound smart But in the end, the subject's bumping uglies Bumping uglies... I know it's still the easy choice If you're competing on The Voice To get those votes from all across the nation But don't perform it in a church Or carol it, lest you besmirch Your Christmas with a song of copulation Copulation, fornication... Your TV drama's at a loss For how to bring some gravitas To the season finale you'll leave hanging So pick the saddest song you've heard Hope no one Googles all the words And learns that it's about a lot of banging Lots of banging... I did my best, it wasn't much For naughty bits about to touch In cover versions cursed with endless sucking But even though it all went wrong I'll know each time I sing this song That "Hallelujah"'s mostly about fucking Mostly fucking...

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released November 4, 2018

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Beth Kinderman & the Player Characters Minneapolis, Minnesota

If you like epic song cycles based upon multi-thousand-page fantasy novels, thought-provoking lyrics, violin solos, complex vocal harmonies, huge drums, and weird guitar effects, but you also think that more musicians should write songs about surviving the zombie apocalypse and attempting to sleep with video game characters, Beth Kinderman & the Player Characters are the band for you. ... more

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